To Share Or Not To Share
First, I apologize to anyone that reads this blog (does anyone actually read this thing???)...Regardless, I have been absent for a while.
It's an odd thing to write a blog, especially when you are such a private person. For anyone that truly knows me..they know that I am very reserved. I don't easily share my personal thoughts, struggles or concerns. I keep everything very close to my heart and share with only a handful of people in my life. So the notion to expose myself before anyone's eyes is a little daunting at times. I am constantly asking myself...how much should I reveal? what can I or cannot I say? do I only talk about film? blah blah blah...I don't have any answers just yet but I am determined to simply write how I feel in the moment.
In the last few weeks I just wasn't sure what I wanted to say. But now I have something to say :)
So...where are we in the edit cave, you may be wondering? Gloria and I are almost done with Act I. We are flying through the scenes. It's been really amazing to see our visions come to life on the screen. I am very happy and proud to let everyone know that we shot a MUCH better film than we wrote. Andres Munar's performance as Antonio is better than anything we imagined. The character of Antonio is something that Gloria and I struggled with for a very long time. He is in the film for the first 25 mins and in those 25 mins a lot has to be accomplished. We have to understand why Mariana put her and her children's lives on the line, we have to understand how Antonio's spirit is completely broken by the time his family arrives and lastly we have to understand (though not necessarily agree with) why Antonio leaves. All of these elements are only accomplished if Antonio is a three dimensional character, with dreams, hopes and faults. In the writing we tried our best to accomplish that difficult task but it is only with Andres' performance that we were able to soar with his character. Watching him on screen is heartbreaking, you feel his pain, you see his conflict and you want him to make the right choice but in the end he is only human.
After two and a half years of living with this project, I have had to do a lot of self reflection as to my feelings toward my father. I have had to constantly ask myself why he did what he did. Not having the luxury to actually ask him, I have had to put aside the pain and anger and try to see the world from his perspective. At first this was a difficult task, almost impossible, but more important than my personal feelings was the fact that we had to remain true to the story. In the end, trying to see the world from the perspective of a 28 year old man, with so many unaccomplished dreams, the pressure of a young family and an adventurous soul, I have come to understand why father might have left. While I would have chosen differently, in my understanding, I have also come to forgive him. Finally after 26 years, I can say I have forgiven my father.
It's an odd thing to write a blog, especially when you are such a private person. For anyone that truly knows me..they know that I am very reserved. I don't easily share my personal thoughts, struggles or concerns. I keep everything very close to my heart and share with only a handful of people in my life. So the notion to expose myself before anyone's eyes is a little daunting at times. I am constantly asking myself...how much should I reveal? what can I or cannot I say? do I only talk about film? blah blah blah...I don't have any answers just yet but I am determined to simply write how I feel in the moment.
In the last few weeks I just wasn't sure what I wanted to say. But now I have something to say :)
So...where are we in the edit cave, you may be wondering? Gloria and I are almost done with Act I. We are flying through the scenes. It's been really amazing to see our visions come to life on the screen. I am very happy and proud to let everyone know that we shot a MUCH better film than we wrote. Andres Munar's performance as Antonio is better than anything we imagined. The character of Antonio is something that Gloria and I struggled with for a very long time. He is in the film for the first 25 mins and in those 25 mins a lot has to be accomplished. We have to understand why Mariana put her and her children's lives on the line, we have to understand how Antonio's spirit is completely broken by the time his family arrives and lastly we have to understand (though not necessarily agree with) why Antonio leaves. All of these elements are only accomplished if Antonio is a three dimensional character, with dreams, hopes and faults. In the writing we tried our best to accomplish that difficult task but it is only with Andres' performance that we were able to soar with his character. Watching him on screen is heartbreaking, you feel his pain, you see his conflict and you want him to make the right choice but in the end he is only human.
After two and a half years of living with this project, I have had to do a lot of self reflection as to my feelings toward my father. I have had to constantly ask myself why he did what he did. Not having the luxury to actually ask him, I have had to put aside the pain and anger and try to see the world from his perspective. At first this was a difficult task, almost impossible, but more important than my personal feelings was the fact that we had to remain true to the story. In the end, trying to see the world from the perspective of a 28 year old man, with so many unaccomplished dreams, the pressure of a young family and an adventurous soul, I have come to understand why father might have left. While I would have chosen differently, in my understanding, I have also come to forgive him. Finally after 26 years, I can say I have forgiven my father.
posted by Entre Nos at
10:56 AM
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