You say tomato, I say 'tomate'

I am taking a quick lunch break (and Paola knows what I mean by quick!) from subtitleling the film. As I'm eating I'm trying to figure out how best to translate certain words and phrases. Language is such a remarkable reflection of cultures that you want to be as precise as possible. Knowing the power of words and the beauty of both cultures first hand, I want be fair without being obtrusive or even manipulative in either direction. I have to really listen to what the character are saying and where the scene is taking us. Antonio and Alejo refer to Mariana as 'Flaca'. A direct translation is 'Skinny'... but literally it sounds odd in English. There is a whole history of how in Colombia you are nicknamed based on a great or unfortunate physical trait... for instance, if you have one foot shorter than the other you are 'el cojo', if you're eyes are not exactly synced, you are 'el visco' (no mercy!). This lack of PC'ness has both hurt and empowered people I'm sure... but that is the exact meaning of culture... to understand where it comes from. Paola and I are going to have to decide what to leave and takeout so the intent won't be completely lost. Even in something as 'technical' as translating, we still have creative choices to make. How lucky we are! On that note, I wish you all "¡Un feliz año nuevo, 2009!"

The power of the Index Cards

Gloria and I have been staring at our Index Cards for the past two weeks. Starring at them because we know that the Index Cards hold the answers to our questions but sometimes they don't like to give up the goods....actually most of the time! We have to say sweet nothings to them, caress them, keep them warm and bow to their unconditional power. Each Index Card has a scene written on it, meaning each individual Index Card holds the power to tell our movie in the best possible way. We stare at the Index Cards each one placed on the coach. Individually they barely occupy any space at all but ,collectively, when they are laid out as the entire the movie...they take up the whole couch and spill onto the floor.

We stare at them because they hold the answers to the puzzle. We move one scene to Act II, take away a scene, we add a scene...in essence we re-write the movie via Index Cards.

Our movie has been relegated to all mighty power of the Index Cards. Each card summarize the scenes with a few words....

Mari Runs
Why you play football
Confession Scene
Mari looks to stars
ktown market
joe fight

and to those Index Cards we say (you can say it with us, if you like):

O' blessed Index Card, allow us to find in you the truth we seek. Be the light and guide us to the promise land. In you we place our faith!

the rock

Today I went to Rykers Island to perform short plays for the inmates (lets call them kids cause that's what they are...it was juvenile section). It's a really dope program that lasts about eleven weeks. In those eleven weeks the kids write short plays and then actors come in and perform them for the rest of the kids.

I have been in several jails since I began my film career and no matter how many times I have gone into a jail it's the leaving part that never ceases to amaze me. As I am walking out, my mind cannot stop thinking about the thousands of people that are being left inside. Put aside guilt or innocence, whatever crimes they committed, no matter how heinous or minor, the fact that they no longer have their freedom while I am walking out the door is a thought that will forever mess with my mind.

On top of all of that the fact that they are kids...or young people...in other words under 21 puts an even bigger twist on my mental state. Now I know some people are simply bad people and need to be locked up...but most of the people I have ever met that where locked up where not bad people...they simply made bad choices given the circumstances they were living in. I know I am generalizing here...but when I was looking out the audience and seeing these kids laughing, talking back to us while we were performing and even the kids that were sleeping cause they were bored...I saw boys that looked like me, boys that looked like my friends, in their smiles I saw that they were children...too dam young to be on the "rock"...to dam young to have the scars and wounds they all have...too dam young to have so little.

After the performance I went into the audience to talk with the boys. As I was walking off the stage one of the officers looked at me as if I was crazy...a girl going into the lions mouth...about 200 boys that have been away from females for who knows how long. I smiled at the officer and continued on, I couldn't simply stay on the stage looking at them as if they were animals. That would make me feel more uncomfortable that being around 200 boys. I approached one kid who was entertained the entire performance and asked him if he knew who the writers where. He said he was one of the writes...so we started talking. He was from Colombia...from Cali....he had been there several times and loved it. He couldn't wait to go back....it's all he dreamed about on the inside....going back to Colombia. I never ask what people are in for...I don't want them to feel judged by me...the way I see it, they have already been judged by someone else and now they are doing their time....as far as I am concerned we have a clean slate when we meet. So this kid and I start talking about what food he wants to eat...chorizo and an arepa...says he hasn't eating it in years..5 years to be exact. I say. "That's a long time, when you gettin out?" He says " In four months...I was doing my bid upstate and now they sending me down." "Cool, just stay out of trouble and you'll be home soon." He says, " Ya see, someone killed my brother when I was 14 and then I killed him." When he told me that...I just looked into his eyes and nodded my head. There wasn't anything to say...that was his confession to me...he wanted to let me know who I was talking to. He wasn't bragging, on the contrary he was simply being honest...letting me know his mistake...his baggage...his scars...we kept on talking about his sentence and how because he was a minor he was able to get out at 21..he had a plan..he had his GED, he wanted to be a mechanic..get a job...and then the whistle blew...it was time to go...we said our good byes..and then bounced....

As I was walking out of jail...I thought of that kid...yes...what he did was horrendous...he took a life...he cause pain and anguish...it is AWFUL...BUT a 14 year old kid doesn't just go off and kill someone...we got to look at the environment...the circumstance...the poverty...and ultimately what I believe is the lack of HOPE in poor communities...the night Obama was elected president I was able to see how POWERFUL hope is. How hope can make you feel invisible, how hope can give a reason to life and on the flip side in that same moment I also realized just how powerful HOPELESSNESS can be. I have never been in that bottomless pit of hopelessness but I can image the opposite of what I felt on November 4th and dam it to hell that is a place that will swallow ANYONE up...take even the best of us and break us...and that is what is happening all across the world...the poverty and hopelessness that so many of our brothers and sisters are living in is breaking them...it's tearing out their souls...it's making them murders and terrorists...

I don't have solutions today...nor will I have them tomorrow but I do believe in the old adage...I am because we are and we are because I am...

testing...1,2,3... testing

The film runs one hour and thirty six minutes......not bad at all! I think we can loose another 5-7 minutes and we will be in good shape. I say this without having shown the film to any outside eyes but at the moment that is what my gut is telling....bring it in under 1.30 cause man it's a tough tough film....but not to worry there is a HAPPY ending...and if I have learned nothing else in the last four years American's LOVE happy endings.

We have rearranged, we have deleted, we have replaced soooo many scenes and now we are ready for a our first test screening. We have invited two people that we trust tremendously to come and see what we have thus far. The notes we receive from this screening will allow us to move closer and closer to a final product. We are shooting for a producers screening at the end of next week, so come the new year we will have a another screening with a handful of people.

I love test screenings! I love them because they allow me to see if my intentions are being understood. I love them because they allow me to have a second chance, i love them because they force me to continue to think HOW to put the puzzle together. In my earlier days I would dream that my test screenings would go perfectly...everyone would say the film is great, there isn't anything they would change...that everything was genius. Now I know that will never happen...nor would I want it to. I don't believe in perfection anymore, especially not in art...it is in the imperfections that we find life, passion and innovation.

So onward with our test screening...come Friday morning we will know how far or how close we are to the finish line.

Letting the "babies" go....

Life has been hard over the last month but art has been great. I have always said that we as artist do not need to torture ourselves in order to create beautiful art but there is something about living inside of pain that allows for the most beautiful profound honesty to be born. And that is what has been happening in the last month....Beauty has been born.

Yesterday Gloria and I finished editing every scene in the film. When we clicked the button for the last time I sat back and took a deep breath...what an accomplishment.

Now of course the really hard work begins...putting the puzzle together. Figuring out what works and what doesn't work. As of right now we have deleted 13 scenes and the film stands at a total of one hour and forty one minutes. I am at a point where deleting scenes makes me happy...it gets my blood going. I say that now when I am outside the edit room, but when we are in the moment deciding if our "baby" will live or die it is a heart wrenching decision. But once the scalpel has been taken out and the dirty work is done..it is thrilling. Thrilling because I know we have taken one step closer to a better film. Thrilling because I see the shape of the film more clearly, thrilling because the film is taking one more small step towards life.

Tomorrow Gloria and I will watch the entire film for the first time....amazing!!!!!!!